Gold Dust

 

The sun was setting. It hung heavy over the jagged horizon of buildings and trees, growing redder the lower it sank. Long shadows were cast across the parking lot, obscure shapes that made Shigure think of hulking monsters, all glowering as he walked – gangly and sixteen and plain in black school uniform – to the far end of the empty lot. His own shadow was an angular translucent form, all legs with an obscure fringe of silhouette at the top, just barely touching the bottom edge of the school's brick wall. He'd cast a sidelong glance toward it, comparing himself to the slim black copy on paved ground, thinking the bulkier shadows of cars must be envious. Hence why they glowered. It was his mind running away with him again, something else to think about besides girls or the reason he was out by himself at this time of day, still in his uniform, still at school, incredibly bored.

He was looking for Hatori and Aya. They'd been forced to stay late for a student council meeting – Aya because he was president, Hatori to make sure Aya behaved. Shigure wasn't invited, not that he cared. He found all that stuff boring and was content to wait on the two thirds of himself that were absent. But now the student council meeting was long over, and Shigure still found himself the lonely third man out. Searching through the school had turned up nothing, so he'd relegated his search outside, a tiny fear starting in the back of his mind that maybe he'd been left behind.

By the time he'd reached the other end of the parking lot, where there was nowhere else to go but either up the chain link fence or into the alley between fence and school, the sun had dropped to a red ball, beginning its final descent into dusk. Shigure leaned against the fence, hooking his fingers through, and peered through the links up one side of the street then down the other, sighing to himself at his own loneliness. He would never admit how lonely he got when he wasn't with the others; the thought of permanent separation never crossed his mind. As far as he was concerned it could never happen, not as long as they were Soumas, not as long as they lived in the Souma house, and not as long as they were friends. He knew he'd find them. Even if they had left him alone (which they would've only done thinking he'd gone home by himself), he would understand. This temporary loneliness was just that – temporary – so there was no need to get upset. Reassuring himself, he turned toward the alley, where the shadows lingered so close together no dying light could get through, and started toward it.

He didn't see them at first. He was looking at his shoes and noticing that his shadow now covered his entire body, as if clinging to him in fear. He'd just entered the alleyway, pavement giving way to moist earth and patchy grass, when he lifted his head and saw them for the first time. His breath caught as he became instantly aware of disturbing them. Perfectly still, perfectly silent, he stood there, either shocked or amazed or relieved or all three, he'd never be sure. The sun seemed to set at an angle as the world tilted a little to the left, and he found himself caught in the shadows with them, suddenly apart of something he wasn't sure he wanted to be apart of.

He had found them.

Aya leaned against the fence, fingers clenched around the metal wiring below his hips, arms straight at his sides. His silver brows were lowered in deep concentration, the way he looked during an important test he actually knew the answers for. His jaw tensed every few seconds, his lashes shuddering against his cheeks. Hatori was leaning into him, arms raised over his head, fingers likewise linked into the fence, his face much less concentrated and more relaxed, as if pulling the liveliness from Aya's face and using it to release the tension in his own. His own jaw worked in earnest, movement Shigure could not see going on between them to elicit a small gasp from Aya as Hatori pulled away, leaving the shorter boy breathless.

Shigure couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Even as they turned to him, in unison, and saw him there – eyes hazed, olive and citrine, staring through him. It was a moment, a moment they'd stolen for themselves, and he'd stumbled into it, clumsy and alone. The shadows had been woven for their secrecy, the shadows had been pulled close around them, and now he'd breached it. He suddenly felt very coarse and stupid, mouth opening to apologize or make a joke, but he could barely make a sound. Hatori dropped one arm back to his side, leaning all his weight on the other, and Aya smiled quietly, folding his hands behind him and tilting his head childishly.

"Don't worry, Shigure," Hatori told him, as matter-of-fact as ever. "You've not crashed the party."

Shigure laughed out of sheer anxiety, thankful for Hatori's dry jokes. He put his hand on the back of his head as he stumbled over senseless words, laughing uncontrollably now and beginning to feel slightly panicked. He finally looked to the ground, hoping to hide his blush, and didn't notice Hatori's approach until the toes of his shoes came into his vision. Shigure's voice trailed off, his breath catching again as a gentle hand took his chin and lifted his face. At this point in their development Hatori had surprising height, and though he had yet to acquire the intense masculine and draconic beauty blessed him, he was still quite imposing and intimidating to most. And at this moment he was very intimidating to Shigure.

"Does it disgust you?" he asked evenly, eyes showing no sign of reproach or interest. Shigure blinked, unable to answer, and not even understanding the question. "Are you shocked? Do you feel as though you don't even recognize us anymore?"

Shigure glanced aside, noticing Aya come into view, his face knit with worry. He was staring at Hatori. Shigure took a deep breath, the vision of them flashing into his mind once again, and the warm touch of Hatori's fingers against his own face, holding it in place without any force whatsoever . . . it made his heart lighten and tickle with laughter.

Shigure smirked up at his friend. "You're being a tad dramatic, don't you think?"

For a brief second Hatori seemed taken aback. He made an unamused noise and dropped his hand from the younger boy's face, taking a step back. Shigure's smirk warmed into an open smile. "Of course I'm not disgusted! I'm not embarrassed either."

His blush said otherwise.

Aya grinned his ecstatic grin and hugged Shigure around the neck, taking him by surprise. Of course, drama was to be expected from him, but still it was a bit much.

"Oi! Aya!"

"I thought you'd hate us!"

Shigure's smile fell lopsided. "Well..." he touched Aya's cheek, brushing aside long, pale hair. "I could never be disgusted by seeing such a pretty face as yours being adored by such a handsome face as Ha-kun's, now could I?"

Hatori scowled, but the scowl was short lived as they both looked up to him, gleeful young faces just glad to have one another. The faintest hint of a smile ghosted across his lips.

"Na, Hatori? Do I get a kiss too?" Shigure joked, feigning a pout. Without hesitation Hatori answered by leaning forward, cupping one hand around Shigure's face and planting a gentle kiss to his lips. Shocked, Shigure started to inhale but stopped the moment he caught Hatori's rosewood scent, crisp and mysterious, making his lids grow heavy over his eyes until they slid closed against his will. Shigure didn't realize it, but he was returning the kiss, moving his lips against Hatori's, tugging with a coy urgency for something he didn't quite know he needed. When the taller boy pulled away, the other gazed into sunset flecked eyes, the entire world a much clearer, brighter place.

"I... Ha..."

Aya placed a careful hand on Shigure's shoulder, and with hesitation he turned to look into golden eyes as wide and placid as the sky, thinking the heavens must look like this if they were truly paved with gold. Another warm hand, this time two, on either side of his face, and Aya's eyes filling his vision, leaning in toward him, closing slowly, like a dream. Shigure sighed, accepting the chaste kisses as they fell like spring rain onto his mouth, breathing softly Aya's sweet smell, tiger lilies and cherry blooms.

Pulling away, dazed from these affections, he looked between the two of them with lids half-mast, grateful for them both. The sun was now gone, the shadows had deepened, and they were wrapped in them together, all three, all one again. The tall boy with the stern face softened by affection, the platinum haired boy with the brilliant smile only they could understand, and the plain boy with a look of sated glee, seeing things the way they were meant to be seen.

Hatori smiled gently, wrapping one arm around Shigure's shoulders. "Let's go home."

"Yeah..."

Aya slipped an arm around Shigure's waist, and the three of them walked home, silent, thoughtful, and content.

 

__________________________

-do I have-
of course I have,
beneath my raincoat,
I have your photographs
and the sun on your face
I'm freezing that frame
and somewhere alfie cries
and says "enjoy his every smile
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of laura mars"
how did it go so fast
you'll say
as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands
-"Gold Dust," Tori Amos