It Could Be Sweet
Mmmm gotta try a little harder
It could be sweet
Like a long forgotten dream
-"It Could Be Sweet," PortisheadShigure stared at the sketch before him, chewing on the end of his colored pencil. To the observer his eyes were unfocused and even dreamy, soft around the corners with emotions that weren't often seen so honestly displayed on his face. But he was actually thinking very hard about the picture in front of him, devising ways he could improve it. Even though it had started out a sketch, a distraction from his true duty at hand – finishing up the last fifty pages or so of his latest manuscript – the sketch had turned into a small work of love, the colored pencils coming out of his hidden desk drawer that folded into the side of the desk. The drawer was a good place for hiding things like pastels, finger puppets, condoms, lube, pornography, old kokigami he couldn't bear to part with, and any manner of embarrassing or uncouth paraphernalia. The sketch though, he wouldn't hide it in his hidden drawer. If he could have, he would've framed it and set it on his desk so he could look at it all the time. And not because he was in love with his own artwork, but because the subject of the drawing deserved to be looked at. It was all Shigure found himself doing for the next fifteen minutes.
He'd made sure to use the right shades for coloring it – a perfect shade of tan for the skin, dusty gray for the sheets, flickering fire orange for the hair, so that what appeared before him on the page was an almost perfect rendering of Kyo asleep. Shigure, in his focused artistic state of mind, still trying to work out if he got all the details right, didn't even register the fact that he had just drawn Kyo – Kyo lying naked on his side with his hands limp by his face, his expression relaxed with restful sleep, his lips slightly open. His sheet was drawn up around his chest, and in the corner there could be seen the crumpled leg of his cargo pants. Shigure felt there was something wrong with the drawing, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Everything about it was startlingly perfect, something just seemed missing somehow...
"Shigure-san?"
He startled at the polite tweet of Tohru's voice outside his study door, jolting him out of his artistic reverie and making him see for the first time just what it was he had drawn. Shocked, and then worried Tohru would find out, he pulled open his top desk drawer and shoved the sketch inside, though he was careful to shove it in a manner that didn't bend the paper in any way.
"Yes, Tohru-kun?" he called in reply not five seconds later.
Tohru slid the study door open a crack and peeked inside. "I'm sorry, Shigure-san! I was only wondering if you were inside. I was going to tidy up some if you weren't busy."
Shigure smiled easily, sliding his glasses up to rest on top of his head. "Does it look messy in here to you?"
He gestured to the inside of the room, at the stacks of books, papers, late manuscripts, doodles, and one wayward koki that had somehow made its way to the other side of his desk. He laughed at himself, trying not to blush, trying to act cool. It wasn't like Tohru knew what it was.
"Anou..."
"Don't worry about it, Tohru-kun!" he quickly said, pulling his glasses back down. "I'll clean it up myself when I'm done. It's not right that you should have to clean up all my messes! After all, you don't clean Kyo-kun's room for him."
Tohru blinked. "Kyo-kun's room is always very clean."
Shigure hadn't even realized he'd mentioned Kyo's name, let alone the state of his room. He bristled, wondering just what was happening to him. Of course he would think Kyo's room was messy, he was used to seeing it with their clothes scattered all over the floor, and used to leaving it with Kyo's clothes still scattered there. He burst out into nerve wracked laughter.
"Exactly what I mean!" he exclaimed. He stood up and turned to her, ushering her out the door. "Now you run along and finish whatever you were doing, and I'll finish what I'm doing and clean this messy place up, ne?"
He closed the door behind her, sighing with relief. Too close for comfort. What was happening to him, speaking about Kyo when he didn't even mean to, drawing pictures of Kyo and mulling over them for hours? He sank back into his chair, eyes closed, and tried to clear his head. It wasn't long though before he was seeing Kyo in his mind, with his awkward way of speaking that only unraveled when they'd sat together for long periods of time without touching. His clumsy requests for embraces or caresses or kisses, trying to be rough with Shigure but never quite succeeding. There was a tender, needy little boy under that violent exterior, like the eye of a storm, a place where Shigure had been and seen only a few times. A place he longed to be.
They'd been lovers for almost two months. He wasn't really sure if he could classify their relationship as that of lovers – their trysts had mostly consisted of a lot of holding, with some touching and kissing on particularly lonely evenings. It was always after Kyo had finished his homework; he would cross the hall to Shigure's room, where he would knock once before going back to his own room, leaving the door unlocked. It was only a matter of minutes before Shigure came, his approach as silent as death, never alerting Tohru or Yuki of his going to the other Souma's room. When they were particularly needy, or had touched and kissed to the point of over excitement, they usually engaged in what had become for them commonplace – oral sex. It had been Shigure at first, going down on Kyo when he knew the boy needed relief, always ignoring his own desires until he was alone later, because for some reason he didn't want Kyo to know how greedy he was. But it wasn't too long before Kyo was curious to try that act again, actually taking guidance from the older man as he stripped him of his clothes. And he was very good at it. Shigure never hesitated to tell him so, knowing that the encouragement wasn't just good for him, but made Kyo more confident in how Shigure felt about him. And soon he was so confident in himself they were doing it more and more often, in more and more interesting positions. Shigure personally liked it when Kyo straddled his face and leaned down to suck him off, and Kyo knew this as he often taunted him with it, getting naked and going down on him but never letting Shigure get what he wanted. He'd knee him in the face before he'd let Shigure touch him, never hard enough to hurt, but enough to frustrate him to the point where he had to take control and grab the boy and literally lift him on top of him.
It was nice, Shigure mused as he stared at his drawing in the open desk drawer. But the original reason for their being together hadn't been lost to him and was truly the greatest thrill. Holding Kyo, being there for Kyo, being trusted and protecting him (no matter how bizarre it seemed, since he had to figure out ways to protect himself from Kyo's temper most of the time), these were what Shigure liked. Getting off was just a small perk. And in a way, it was almost ungratifying. There was something lacking, just as there was something lacking in his sketch, and neither thing could he put his finger on. It was frustrating. And to anyone else it was obvious.
Shigure sighed, sliding the drawer back into the desk, and set back to work on his manuscript. Mit-chan would be coming tomorrow and he'd have to come up with ways to torture her.
Kyo threw the study door open so hard it rattled against the opposite wall, stalking inside to the desk and yanking open the topmost left drawer. He rummaged among loose pens and pencils, cursing under his breath.
"Stupid Yuki," he was muttering to himself. "Damn mouse . . . shitty mouse . . . it's HIS fault the damn door's broken . . ."
He looked in the bottom lefthand drawer, sticking his hand in and looking through staples, scotch tape, scissors...
He pulled out a piece of paper, not sure what exactly it was, and made a face as it fell open to reveal a long strand of paper dolls, cut into alternating shapes of people and dogs. He rolled his eyes and stuffed the paper back into the drawer.
"Why the hell would rice paper be in here?" he wondered aloud, slamming the drawer closed. "I can't believe Tohru forgot where she put it!"
He yanked open the right topmost drawer and stopped his muttering abruptly. He stood there for a moment and didn't make a move, just staring wide eyed at what rested in the drawer, as if it had teeth and were about to leap out and attack him. He wasn't sure if he was believing his eyes, so he gave them a good hard rub with his fists and looked again, but it was still there, just a little blurred. Hesitantly he reached into the drawer and removed it, pulling it out and holding it carefully in both hands, afraid of leaving some sort of mark on it that Shigure would notice.
It was . . . a drawing of him . . . asleep. He stared at it for a long time, at his own closed eyes, the sheets of his futon, his trusty cargo pants barely noticeable in the upper right-hand corner. Nothing about it looked like an actual picture, even though the rendering was so good, too good almost. After all, Kyo never looked this nice in pictures. He was always scowling. And he never felt this relaxed. And he never slept naked. Wait...
He realized then that this was drawn from memory, that the only person who would've ever seen him like this was Shigure. He was entranced by it, amazed by his own peaceful beauty, as well as overcome by the dog's sentimentality. He'd never seen himself sleep before; looking at this was almost disturbing to him. To see his own face in calm repose, untroubled by all the things that usually troubled him. Did he really look like this? Was he really . . . this pretty? And why had Shigure drawn this? Asking why Shigure did anything was like asking God why he let mothers die. There would never be an answer, and one had to accept silence. Or in Shigure's case – laughter.
Was this really what Shigure saw when he looked at him? Had Shigure watched him sleep often? He always fell asleep before the dog, and he always woke up alone. He'd assumed that Shigure left as soon as he went to sleep, but this seemed to suggest otherwise. The drawing was even shaded dim, to suggest a dark room. There were wrinkles in his sheets. His hair was messy. And . . . there was a little freckle on his shoulder that he always forgot about because it was in such an inconspicuous place. Every stroke and detail of the drawing suggested great care had went into it. And Kyo didn't know what to think about it.
He put the sketch back where he'd found it, closing the drawer with more care than he'd ever closed anything. He didn't bother to look in the last drawer. He knew there was no rice paper in here.
"Sensei!!"
Yuki was startled by Mit-chan's sudden appearance in the gaping doorway they were at the moment trying to repair. Tohru had gone to get more paper and Kyo was using every ounce of self-control he had to keep from speaking. Mit-chan glanced about the room, then ran to the dining room door, calling, "Sensei!" She was breathless, she was desperate, she was nearing a stress induced heart attack at a very young age.
"Sensei!!" she sobbed, flying from one door to the other. She started up the stairs, getting ready to yell again, but Kyo stood up from where he crouched repairing the door and stopped her.
"Oi. He's gone out for a while. He told me to tell you he'd be back soon and to wait on him."
Yuki stared at Kyo. He knew as well as Kyo did that Shigure was upstairs hiding out. Mit-chan didn't though. She sank down on the bottom step and put her face in her hands, taking several calming deep breaths. "I need that manuscript now . . . I can't wait . . ."
"Well," Kyo started, crossing his arms with a sigh, "There's nothing you can do but wait."
Yuki was shocked. Like Kyo knew anything about waiting! Just two seconds ago he'd barked at Yuki for taking too long with the tape!
Mit-chan regarded him with watery eyes, swallowing back her anxious tears before standing and walking into the kitchen, where Tohru greeted her kindly and offered her something to eat and drink. Yuki stared at Kyo, who was eyeing the staircase thoughtfully.
"Kyo . . . Did you just cover for Shigure?"
"Who cares if I did?!" Kyo snapped, baring his fangs. Yuki only looked shocked for a moment more before turning back to work on the door.
"No one. It was just . . . surprising."
Kyo didn't even bother to knock on the door. He pulled it open and went inside, expecting to find anything but what he did. Shigure sat in a lotus position, eyes closed, taking in slow, deep breaths.
"What is it, Kyo-kun?" he sang quietly, a small smile curving his lips.
"Are you meditating?"
"Mm... meditation is good for your sexual health."
Kyo rolled his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest. They both knew they had come a long way when Shigure could make a sexual joke without getting yelled at and called a pervert. They had to keep up appearances though, and it still made Kyo very uneasy when he made such jokes in front of other people. He was always afraid Shigure would say something to tip the others off to what they were doing, even though he didn't think the dog would be that cruel. But he could never tell. With Shigure, who knew?
"That editor lady's downstairs looking for you," Kyo informed him after a short silence. Shigure opened one eye. That was damn unnerving, Kyo found himself thinking, shifting self-consciously under Shigure's one-eyed stare. "She's near tears."
"Ahh . . . she'll have to wait a bit longer. I have to get my full meditation in . . ." He closed his eye again and took a deep breath for emphasis, letting it out slowly through his nostrils.
"You're going to give that woman a stroke," Kyo mumbled, glancing about Shigure's room. He'd never actually been inside the dog's room. It was even sparser than his room, surprisingly enough. But he supposed Shigure didn't have need of a desk in his room, or bookshelves. He had his study for that. Study . . . Kyo remembered now why he'd come up here in the first place. It wasn't to tell Shigure about Mit-chan, and he could sense that Shigure knew this.
Kyo kept his face turned away, as if there were something on the wall that interested him. "I . . . was in your study . . ."
Shigure opened his eyes, not saying a word.
"But it wasn't like I was snooping or anything!" Kyo cried indignantly, as if Shigure had said something. "I was looking for rice paper to fix the door! Well . . . I wouldn't have been looking in there – I knew you didn't have any – but stupid Yuki told me to look in there while him and Tohru looked elsewhere and so I did ‘cause I figured it'd be better than starting another fight and breaking something else and I found your drawing!!"
Kyo was out of breath. Shigure just stared, slightly surprised and slightly clueless. Kyo knew he wasn't clueless though, so he didn't trust that sweet expression for an instant.
"Which drawing?"
"The one of me, dummy!"
The clueless expression remained fixed for a few seconds before Shigure smiled complacently, relaxing from his position and getting up on his knees. "Didn't you like it, Kyo-kun?"
"No, I'm not saying that," Kyo muttered, keeping his head bowed low. "It's just . . . why the hell would you draw a picture of me?"
Shigure's smile brightened a tiny bit. "I don't have a photograph of you," he stated matter-of-factly. "So I drew a picture instead. I can't help it if sometimes I miss you . . . if sometimes I want to see you and you're not there to see."
Kyo gawked at him, clearly shocked by this. His heart stuttered to a stop momentarily, blood rushing to his face. "You . . . you're . . ."
"I'm not joking," Shigure clarified darkly, making sure Kyo knew how serious he was. Shigure could be frightening when he got serious, and that dark aura seemed to fill the room, eclipsing the daylight from the small round windows. Kyo swallowed thickly and stopped trying to speak, instead looking down at his feet because he didn't know what else to do. He wanted to ask why, but the way Shigure looked right now kept him from it.
"You weren't offended by my drawing, were you?" he asked after a moment, and the sky cleared and the room brightened. Kyo shook his head.
"It just . . . it wasn't very accurate, I don't think."
He couldn't see Shigure's smile, but he knew it was there because he'd learned to read his reactions. He was better at predicting people's reactions than he was at predicting moves in a fight, which was why it always hit him so hard when he lost his temper and hurt Tohru's feelings. It made him feel even weaker, knowing how someone would react but not being able to stop himself from causing it.
"What was so inaccurate about it, Kyo-kun? I had a perfect picture in my mind, and I transcribed that picture to paper. I was fairly proud of myself! My best work yet, maybe – "
"Shut up!!"
Shigure quieted abruptly, startled by Kyo's outburst. Kyo glared at him, fists clenched at his sides, that confused fire burning in his eyes. A fire that ached to understand people, that ached to understand himself.
"Just shut up! How the hell can you say something like that? It was just a stupid drawing of me!"
Shigure's smile was as tender as his little midnight kisses – so soft and small and patient. "But that's why, Kyo. It was you."
Kyo shook his head and looked away sharply. "It looked nothing like me!"
Shigure laughed, rising to his feet. "Ah, but I've won countless awards in junior high and high school for my renderings of people. It looks precisely like you!"
"Shut up!!!" Kyo yelled again, turning his full body away from him. "It was too pretty to be me!"
Shigure came toward him, careful of making a wrong move and getting knocked into the wall. "Kyo . . . it only seems that way because you don't see yourself that way. But that's how I see you. You're very pretty. Beautiful. In a boyish way, of course."
Kyo didn't reply, though he was hanging on to every word. That's what Shigure thought of him for real? That's how he truly saw him? He thought he was beautiful? All those times in bed when he'd call him "pretty kitty" and "pretty Kyo-kun" weren't just him being stupid? He was serious? He meant it?
When Kyo didn't answer him, Shigure pressed on lightly, "Ah . . . but you're not a boy, are you? So maybe I should say in a masculine way? Oh, I've got it! To put it simply, you're hot. In every aspect of the word."
Shigure trailed off, staring at Kyo's back and noticing that his ears were bright red, which confirmed his previous statement. It made him smile a little, but he was upset Kyo wouldn't look at him or acknowledge the things he was saying. He'd only just started acknowledging the seriousness of his affections towards Kyo, but it was really very painful to think Kyo wouldn't accept them. Tentatively he reached for the boy's shoulder, but before he could touch him Kyo spoke.
"I . . . have something . . . I want to ask you."
Shigure withdrew his hand. "What is it? You want me to come to your room tonight?"
"No." Kyo hugged himself, not sure if he could bring himself to say it, but Shigure's words had made him bold, and it was something he'd wanted to ask for a while now. It was now or never. "I want to come to your room. I want . . . to do... that."
Shigure didn't think to breathe for a second, instead using the last of his breath to murmur, "What?"
"That," he repeated with emphasis, his face burning with embarrassment. He had his chin pushed all the way down to his chest, his arms wrapped around his body as far as they would go. He could feel Shigure's presence behind him, waiting for him. Waiting for him.
"I wanna have sex!" He shoved it all out in one burst of breath, and once it was out he wanted to fold in on himself even more, until he was a little ball on the floor. He whimpered softly to himself, feeling like he could die.
"Kyo . . ." Suddenly arms were wrapped around him from behind, a familiar spooning embrace, Shigure bent to rest his chin on his shoulder. His cheek pressed to Kyo's, his face so cool compared to Kyo's scalding hot one it gave the boy shivers. That and other things . . . "Are you sure this is what you want?"
Kyo took a deep breath, then awkwardly reached up to grasp Shigure's arm with both hands. "Yeah. I've wanted to for a while, I guess."
"It's not easy asking," Shigure remarked knowingly. "In the future you don't have to ask anymore. Okay?"
Kyo sighed, thinking that was a relief, even though the thought of not asking made him slightly more nervous. He wasn't sure how to initiate contact without asking, but he should've known he could trust Shigure to do it for him.
They stood like this for a while, enjoying the quiet moment and soaking in its rarity, when they got to be alone with the sun shining and others awake and bustling about downstairs. Shigure was glad to finally have Kyo in his arms again, his attachment to the younger Souma starting to border on needy. His heart though, it was pounding in his chest, excited by what Kyo wanted and terribly nervous about it. He'd never gone about such matters in a right way before, and this time he was going to do it right.
Kyo was more nervous than anything. He did want this – every time he saw Shigure's hard-on he couldn't help but imagine it inside him, and the thought frightened him. It would hurt, he was sure of it. He didn't think he'd get any pleasure out of it; he'd tried masturbating anally one time and it had felt so awkward and odd he'd stopped, not even sure what he was doing anyway. Really he just wanted this because . . . well, he knew Shigure wanted to, and there was a part of him that, for some reason he couldn't explain, wanted to be as close to him as he could be. Kyo didn't normally think of pleasing others, but when he was pleasing Shigure it gave him such a thrill he always wanted more. And now to know that the dog really thought he was worth looking at, and that he missed him, it gave Kyo the extra confidence he needed to go through with it. Even though to know that's what Shigure thought of him made him feel so much more than confidence. It really . . . made him happy.
Shigure pulled away enough to turn Kyo around before pulling him close again. He kissed his nose, murmuring, "Tonight?"
Kyo nodded hesitantly. Hell, he'd thought they'd do it right now. But he supposed tonight would be better, when the others were asleep and Mit-chan was gone. Shigure did make sense sometimes.
They kissed some more, Shigure's kisses full of promised gentility and adoration. Kyo was a bit awestruck by it all still, thinking of how he'd never noticed the way Shigure seemed to say thank you without saying a word.
Dinner was tense, at least for Kyo. He kept his eyes averted the whole time, staring into his bowl and paying very close attention to his chopsticks. Tohru was prattling on about something new she'd considered cooking and was wanting to make sure everyone was okay with it before trying it.
"Anything Honda-san cooks is delicious," Yuki was telling her, smiling at her over the table, which prompted a long, nervous, flattered explanation of why she wasn't really that great and how her mother had done things. Kyo wasn't listening. He was too busy trying to overlook Shigure's hand on his knee. Shigure was smiling as if he were completely clueless, enjoying the menial conversations of his young housemates. Kyo wanted to throw his bowl at him, but since they were trying to be inconspicuous it wouldn't have done, so he scowled and beared it.
Until Tohru got up to do the dishes and Yuki went to help her. Then he stabbed his lover with his chopsticks.
"Ow!!" Shigure withdrew his hand very quickly then, nursing his stab wound. "That'll bruise, you know!"
"Serves you right, pervert!" Kyo made sure to keep his voice low, but no less deadly.
Shigure smiled sneakily, closing his eyes as he murmured, "Ahh . . . but who was the one who asked me – "
Kyo clamped a hand over his mouth, seething. "Shut up or I'll kill you."
He held up a hand in surrender. "I'm hushing, I'm hushing."
Kyo sighed with disgust and got up, leaving with, "I'm going to my room." Shigure watched him go, hopeful that he didn't go to his room and stay there. He'd be sorely disappointed if he did. It would be a bit of a relief if Kyo decided he'd changed his mind and had spoken too rashly. But he knew the boy liked to mull over things a long while before committing to them, and when he'd admitted to wanting to go further Shigure knew he could trust when Kyo said he'd been wanting to for a long time.
It had surprised him how much Kyo's asking for it had gotten to him. He'd been elated, frightened, and grateful. Somehow he'd managed to contain all his emotions to seem like he was very calm about the whole matter, but the truth was his stomach was filled with butterflies. There was so much to worry about that he hadn't realized before, and he could only take precautions for a few. Unrolling his bed, strategically hiding the lubricant so it was easy to get to and not out where it could make Kyo feel uneasy, making sure his door would lock and his futon was clean. What he couldn't make sure of was how Kyo felt about it, how Kyo would feel afterward, if he would even enjoy it and Shigure hoped he did. Their relationship was different from his previous relationships. Kyo was so shy and reserved, not at all like Hatori who would take what he wanted as long as Shigure was giving, or Akito who offered and offered as long as he knew Shigure was there. With Ayame it was a game – it was fun and goofy and messy. With women it was walking on eggshells, done just to test his own dexterity. But this was Kyo, and understanding him was more complicated than it seemed. He'd been abandoned, shut in, rejected, and was almost mortally afraid of relationships. This would take some definite care.
But all Shigure had to do to gain his own self-confidence was think of Kyo's reaction to the drawing he'd found. He hadn't meant for Kyo to see it ever, but he was now glad that he had. If that's what it took to get the silly cat to believe him when he told him things he'd draw a whole picture book and title it, Life with Kyo-kun. He snickered to himself, too amused.
"I'm going to my study! Do not disturb!" he called as he left the room. He sat down at his desk and took out a sheet of sketch paper, sharpening his tan colored pencil before beginning to sketch the expression on Kyo's face when he'd admitted to missing him.
Kyo stared at the door to his room, waging a mental war with his nerves. On the other side of this door was the hallway. Across the hallway was Shigure's door. On the other side of Shigure's door was Shigure's room. All he had to do was open his door, step across the hall, and open Shigure's door. He kept telling himself this over and over for at least ten minutes, having to be reassured of Tohru's silence next door – she was definitely asleep – and Yuki's quiet across the hall – he had to be asleep. The entire house was silent. The only noise Kyo could discern was the nervous pounding of his own heart in his ears.
He took a deep breath, staring at the slot in the sliding door, thinking to himself, I have to go through with this. I can't wuss out. I can't.
He reached his hand forward, slipping his fingers into the door, and let his mind slip to thoughts of previous nights – embraces and caresses and reassuring kisses, Shigure's taste and his hands on his head and his breathless whispers of encouragement and pleasure. A zing of excitement went through him, giving him the last bit of strength to pull open the door, step across the hall, and . . .
He hesitated at Shigure's door. What if . . . what if Shigure didn't want to go through with it? What if the stupid dog had second thoughts? Kyo knew how irrational it was of him to think for even a nanosecond that the perverted dog would second-think something as base as sex, but his fears could not be ignored. He leaned his forehead against the door, heart aching with anxiety, and whimpered once to himself. Little did he know that, despite the low pitch of his whine and the faint touch of his head to the door, Shigure's hearing could pick it up from a good distance away. His acute hearing was often the source of many a headache, especially living in a house with two rambunctious teenagers who loved nothing more than to hate each other and show it every single day. But given Shigure's leniency he could overlook even his own pain just to keep everyone else amused. And besides this he knew seriously complaining to Kyo would only seriously hurt his feelings.
Kyo was startled when the door suddenly shifted and slid open, making him look up in surprise as Shigure smirked at him. He didn't like that smirk. He didn't like it because it made him all weak-kneed and warm-faced, and most of the time when he saw it he wanted to grab Shigure and suck it off, if only to see how surprised he'd look when he did.
"It's not polite to stand outside people's doors at night, Kyo-kun. It's disturbing."
Kyo couldn't retaliate. He was too nervous to even speak and knew better than to get loud and wake someone up. Instead he just stood there looking clueless, blushing in the shadows, waiting for Shigure to do something or say something. The stupid dog sure seemed to be taking his time about it, just staring at him with this odd expression on his face, as if maybe he were second-guessing himself. But then he pulled Kyo inside, rather roughly, and closed the door behind him.
Kyo stood there motionless for a moment, taking everything in. It looked a lot different than it had earlier. The room was lit with soft yellow light, several tall white candles evenly dispersed along the floor and strategically placed to avoid any fire hazard. Shigure's bed was laid out flat, covers turned down, and the whole room had a sweet, rosy smell. And there was music – something soft and a little jazzy, a quiet male voice murmuring, "Around, around... I am so miserable now because the sweet time has already gone... You, I loved too much..." Kyo felt faintly terrified and faintly humiliated.
"Are you . . . fucking nuts?" he asked, trying to figure out where that smell was coming from. Was it the candles? Was it in the sheets?
"Aww! And after I took such pains to make it special for you, you mock my efforts!"
"Special?" Kyo repeated, his voice rising sharply. "I'm not a girl!!"
Shigure blinked, confused. "I'm not asking you to wear a dress."
Irritated, Kyo started around the room, blowing out candles as he went. He was making quite a bit of noise, stomping from one candle to the other, making Shigure wince until he was forced to take the boy by the arm and bring him to a stop.
"You're overreacting just a little, Kyo-chan."
"Don't call me that!"
Shigure didn't reply. He held Kyo by the arms to keep him still, but Kyo didn't attempt to struggle. He only stiffened and sulked, not looking the man in the eye but instead focusing on the bed as he slowly went from pink to red. Shigure smiled slightly, loosening his grip and drawing the boy against him.
"Forgive me for being sentimental," he murmured, resting his cheek against silken flame colored hair. "I've never been given the chance to do anything special for someone else before. Not . . . like this anyway."
Kyo sighed, but his voice was still anything but amused. "If you're trying to trick me, it's not going to work."
"Kyo!" Shigure whined, pouting. "This is your first time! Why not let me make it memorable?"
Kyo pulled away just enough to smirk at him. "Stupid. With you, there's no way it couldn't be memorable."
Shigure was mildly taken aback. Was that . . . a compliment? From Kyo?
Kyo sighed once again and withdrew from the one-sided embrace, going over to the bed and plopping down, leaning back on his hands. "Come on, dumb dog. Let's get this over with."
Shigure frowned. "If you're going to have that sort of attitude, maybe we should just forget about it."
"What?!" Kyo sprang forward with fangs bared and hair on end. "I wanna do this, goddammit! So let's do it!"
Shigure laughed, dropping down to hands and knees and crawling forward until he was face to face with the seething kitty. He ruffled his hair affectionately. "You're too easy," he whispered against Kyo's mouth before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. It was a true statement – Kyo was easily agitated but also very easily pacified. All it took was a kiss to shut him up, and when Shigure pulled away now he never complained because he knew the dog was good to back it up. Even when he teased about not coming through, about having work to do or being tired, Kyo only rose for the bait because it humored his companion. It was funny how a little affection and tenderness could make someone like him want to humor someone like Shigure.
Kyo made a small sound in the back of his throat, pulling away and glancing off to the side self-consciously. "Do . . . you have to have these candles lit?"
Shigure smiled, nuzzling his face into the exposed skin of Kyo's throat, nibbling at the sensitive area between throat and shoulder. "I wanted to see you . . . my room doesn't get as much light as yours."
Kyo was giving in to the tiny bites, already squirming under the attention of Shigure's mouth. He turned his face toward him, breathing into his hair, "Well . . . okay. But that damn music's got to go."
"As you wish." He reached over to the right of Kyo and picked up the stereo remote, clicking the power off before dropping it back to the floor and moving his mouth from throat to lips, wrapping his arms around his young lover. Kyo trembled into the kiss, his hands already at Shigure's back to undo his belt, having practically learned how to knot it just from undoing it so much. Shigure slipped his hands beneath Kyo's shirt, running them up his warm back, imagining in his mind exactly how that olive skin looked beneath his hands. The boy responded by pressing forward, actually undoing the knot of his belt with a practiced ease, moving his hands between them to pull the robe open and touch Shigure's chest. His hands ventured from collarbone to waist to hips, dancing over his stomach against his navel, then around and down over the gentle curve of his ass. Kyo never did much exploration of Shigure's body through touch. He was always afraid to. But he knew that if Shigure were willing to go this far, then Kyo shouldn't be afraid to touch him where he wanted to.
Kyo's curious hands were maddening in their quest, never lingering long enough in one place. His hands were so warm, even slightly calloused, brushing hesitantly over Shigure's ass. He moaned softly, pulling away just enough to whisper, "That's nice..." Kyo looked back at him a bit startled, then carefully tightened his grip, watching Shigure's expression closely. His eyes were closed, lips parted, brows neatly puckered. He looked very peaceful, Kyo mused. Very . . . very beautiful.
Kyo . . . it only seems that way because you don't see yourself that way. But that's how I see you. You're very pretty. Beautiful.
He'd been thinking about those words ever since Shigure had said them. He was starting to think that he really understood them now. Understood them from his own point of view.
"Shigure...?"
Shigure opened his eyes, the peacefulness of his expression not hindered in the slightest. Kyo felt very strange under that gaze.
"Do you . . . really think that? That I'm . . . pretty . . . or whatever?" He blushed uncontrollably, unable to look him in the eye.
Shigure kissed him softly, suckling his bottom lip as if sucking the juice off a cherry and hugging him close against him. "Of course I do. Now stop being a silly kitty and get naked."
Kyo would've taken offense to this at any other time, but this time he didn't respond at all, just lifted his arms when Shigure pulled his shirt up over his head. He pushed the dog's robe off his shoulders, scooting back as he crawled forward, shedding the sad garment at the foot of the bed. It laid there like an ugly second skin, and Kyo found himself thinking he liked this new skin much better.
The candlelight was coming from behind the bed, the only candles Kyo hadn't managed to put out, and as he laid back and Shigure leaned over him, he could see the light reflecting in his eyes. His eyes were gleaming and strange, flickering orange within smoked glass. But he realized as he looked up into those eyes that they were the same as always, the same as when he held him and kissed him and told him he was a pretty kitty. The same eyes that smiled at him across the table and told him that someday someone would say they liked him. Kyo suddenly wondered if he'd been talking about himself that whole time?
Shigure couldn't stop staring at Kyo. His face was written with nerves, but beyond that was something much gentler and lovelier – trust and need. Kyo needed to feel loved and wanted and cared for, and something in his eyes showed that he was really beginning to understand that Shigure was serious. He wanted him, as much as he'd ever wanted anyone. He needed him, in a way that was much purer and simpler than he'd ever needed anyone else. And he loved him. He really loved him.
Kyo shifted suddenly, breaking the spell by looking away, his cheeks ruddy with embarrassment. "Do you have to stare me into the pillow?"
"Sorry," Shigure mumbled, touching his flushed cheek. How he loved to feel the burn of Kyo's blush. It was so cute. "Just admiring my pussycat."
"Don't call me that," Kyo grumbled, shifting again. "I thought I was supposed to get naked?"
Shigure laughed, realizing he'd forgotten what they were doing. He undid Kyo's pants, easing them off his hips and down his legs, crumpling them up and tossing them at the foot of the bed to rest with the rest of their clothes. Both naked now, Kyo's heat warming him even with several inches between them, he let his weight rest on Kyo's body as he kissed him, pushing his mouth open with the press of his tongue. His hot young body beneath his, his wiry arms wrapping around him, fingers tangling in his hair, Shigure thought maybe he could live with this alone. The thought of going further almost seemed too much.
Shigure lying on top of him was probably the greatest feeling in the world. They'd never laid like this before, not completely naked with their cocks so close, kissing deeply and taking their time about it. When they'd kissed before it had either been with desperation and abandon or very gently, chaste kisses that were meant to convey great amounts of affection. This was something so much better – Shigure's tongue in his mouth, his soft lips, the way he accepted Kyo's tongue in return, the way he wrapped his lips around it and sucked – and his body against his – so much bigger and longer, his broader shoulders and back, making Kyo feel safe. He didn't feel the need to defend himself when it was like this, when he was in physical contact with Shigure. Even though he was the stronger of the two and could probably wipe the floor with the larger man, Shigure had a power that Kyo would never have, something dark and hidden, something that he knew – somehow – would be used to protect him. He knew it from the way he touched him, his fingers stroking through his hair and on his face, petting him and soothing him. He had never felt this safe with anyone. God . . . it made him feel so brave.
And his thighs and his hips against Kyo's, his cock right there, and Kyo could feel it getting harder against the inside of his own thigh, Shigure twitching his hips just a little to encourage it. He was getting hard too, but he craved more stimulation. It was just so hard to concentrate on everything at once – Shigure's kisses and soft throaty murmurs, the movement of his hips and his hard-on and Kyo's own hard-on – he didn't know what to do.
He decided the best thing to do would be to get Shigure's attention, so he reached down, sliding his hands down Shigure's back and over his ass, touching him lightly and making the older Souma sigh against his swollen lips. He reached one hand between them to take a hold of his shaft, stroking it with the same light touch, feeling like a tease and loving it. He knew how to make the man beg. He brushed his thumb across the tip, a tiny tickling touch that got him a love bite in return. It took a lot of pressure to get Shigure off, and these teasing touches were maddening for him. Kyo took him in both hands, pulling up with one while slipping his thumb beneath foreskin to trace the head of his cock as it swelled in his hand. Shigure reached down as well, wrapping a hand around Kyo's need and stroking slowly, nowhere near going further.
They fondled and kissed to full hardness, Shigure cupping Kyo's balls and making the boy squirm anxiously, mewling in the back of his throat. This was okay. This he understood. They'd touched like this before. As long as they were touching like this, Kyo wasn't nervous about anything else. Shigure's grip on him was familiar now, and so appreciated, and he let him know it with his tiny whimpers and gasps of satisfaction. Shigure was kissing along his shoulder now, down his upper arm and across his bicep, teeth scraping skin and tongue tasting gooseflesh. He moved to Kyo's chest, biting one nipple hard enough to make him cry out with surprise while working the other with his freehand, pinching and rubbing till Kyo's voice was all but shaking. Shigure had lifted himself to his knees now, and Kyo's legs spread to accommodate him, his hips bucking up into Shigure's hand as the older Souma pumped forward into Kyo's tight grasp. But he kept moving down, telling himself to be calm and patient, lapping at Kyo's belly button and suckling it as if he would get something out of it. Oh, but he did – the way Kyo flexed his stomach, skin baby soft over rigid muscle – it made him ache for touch even though he was now out of Kyo's reach. He rubbed his cock against his leg instead, sucking the boy's navel until he was sure it would bruise. He pressed his tongue inside one last time, reminding himself there were other places his tongue could go, before moving on.
He lapped across his pelvic bone, from one hip to the other, spreading Kyo's legs wide with one hand while the other continued to stroke his erection, straining painfully toward his stomach. He breathed softly over the tip, letting Kyo feel the presence of him there, so close, before flicking his tongue out to taste. Kyo whined, writhing for more, spreading until he was so exposed Shigure didn't even know where to go. He tried to keep on track, taking Kyo in his mouth just a tiny bit, sliding his tongue beneath his foreskin and up along the ridge of the head, moaning and sucking and licking at the same time.
"Oh God!" Kyo cried, beyond words. He made several nonsensical sounds, taking hold of the base of his own cock and forcing his eyes open to watch Shigure work, his head bobbing just slightly. Shigure lifted his eyes enough to look at him, and something like a smirk touched them before he took Kyo deeper, burying his face between his legs and burying Kyo deep in his throat and mouth. Kyo sobbed helplessly, tears of pleasure in his eyes as he rocked his hips against Shigure's face. But he stayed down for only a few seconds, sucking viciously before coming back up and leaving Kyo exposed to unsatisfying bedroom air.
"No!!" Kyo whined, not wanting him to stop. God, he gave good head! Kyo's mind was so hellbent on a blowjob all of a sudden he'd forgotten the real reason they were there.
"Shh..." Shigure soothed, rubbing the outside of Kyo's thighs and giving the underside of his sex a teasing little lick. He kissed Kyo's balls, parting his lips to suckle his testicles gently, drawing one into his mouth until Kyo moaned. He released him and moved further down, licking at the spiral of clenched flesh with the tip of his tongue.
Kyo gave a start, not expecting to be kissed there. Ah, but Shigure was so good at everything he really didn't care because it felt so damn good, his tongue laving against his entrance then tracing its small circumference as one hand continued to stroke his cock and the other clutched his thigh. Kyo found himself wanting more of it, pushing down against his mouth and touching his own thighs, his hands moving down the tender skin on the inside, just above where Shigure's dark hair tickled. Kyo let his head roll back on the pillow, throat arching as he gave himself up to this exquisite feeling, of Shigure doing everything in his power to make him feel so goddamn wonderful.
"Ohn... Shigure . . ."
It was the first time he'd ever called the dog's name.
Shigure kissed past the clench of muscle, forcing his tongue inside. He drew it in and out, then moved it up and down, Kyo moaning and arching his back, muscle clenching naturally around muscle.
"Shigure! Fucking God!"
Shigure pulled away with a self-satisfied grin, his erection aching to the point it hurt. Kyo had gotten sticky in his hand, and was lying there with legs spread almost wantonly, hands holding his thighs apart as he thrust his hips mindlessly into the air, against Shigure's hand. His bright hair was damp with sweat and mussed from thrashing against the pillow, his eyes squeezed shut as he took great mouthfuls of air into his lungs. He gleamed faintly in the candlelight, entire body sheathed lightly in sweat. He was perfect for the taking, so goddamn fuckable, and for a moment Shigure thought he really didn't deserve this, that he was really too lucky.
But why question reality or fate? It was fleeting anyway. He had to enjoy this while it lasted.
When Kyo finally opened his eyes to see what the hold up was, he was mildly surprised to find Shigure staring him into the pillow again. Only he was slightly less euphoric looking and a bit more sad. Kyo thought maybe he'd done something wrong, and immediately started to go over in his mind what he could've done. Maybe he was enjoying it too much, or being too loud, or maybe he shouldn't have been thrusting so hard, or . . . or maybe he shouldn't have said Shigure's name? He bit his lip, looking away as he tried to hide his sudden shame.
Shigure didn't understand why Kyo looked so upset all of a sudden. As his lover turned his face away, a great fear of rejection hit him hard, forcing him down to kiss Kyo's damp hair.
"Kyo . . . what's the matter? Do you not want to anymore?"
Kyo swallowed hard, his voice thick and slightly raw – from overuse and emotion. "No . . . I . . . you don't seem too sure of yourself all of a sudden."
Shigure was taken aback. Kyo saw things in him that Shigure didn't even know others could see. No, he knew no one else could see it. But Kyo always pointed it out, because he was always afraid it was about him.
He smiled, kissing Kyo's temple and turning his face toward him. "I was just thinking that I don't deserve a pretty, silly kitty like you."
Kyo blinked with surprise, then blushed fiercely, gasping suddenly when Shigure drew his fingers up his hard-on to keep his mind in place. "Stop acting like I'm some prize or something. I'm not anything . . ."
"You stop acting like you're worthless," Shigure countered. "It's annoying as hell. Even more annoying than you breaking my house every time I turn around."
To counteract Kyo's subconscious pout he kissed him, drawing his legs up around his waist so that their erections rubbed together, the feel of Kyo's hot length against his a much needed relief to the throb for some sort of contact. Kyo hesitantly reached up with his arms, putting them around him and holding on awkwardly before tightening into a real embrace.
"Are you ready to go on?"
Kyo looked into his eyes and nodded, no hesitation or tentativeness about it. He was ready for this. He was a little nervous, but so much less so now. He trusted Shigure. He trusted him completely.
"Flip over for me and get up on your knees," Shigure instructed gently, nothing about his voice suggestive or lewd. It was coaxing and helpful and terribly kind, putting Kyo at ease even though his stomach was doing flip-flops with his heart inside.
As Kyo did as he was told, Shigure reached under the pillow and removed the lubricant he'd hidden there earlier, doing it in one swift move so the boy wouldn't notice.
Kyo was trying not to shake, but it was extremely hard. He knew what was coming, but he wanted it, and he couldn't stop thinking about how weird it was to be so sickeningly nervous about something he wanted so bad. As he waited he tried to imagine what it would feel like to have Shigure inside him. He remembered his botched attempt at anal masturbation. That had been with one finger, and Shigure was three times the size of his index finger. His trembling grew worse.
The older Souma was trying to be quiet and trying to overlook Kyo's tremors. With one finger properly lubed, he reached around to take Kyo's prick in his hand again, rubbing him up and down as he slipped his finger inside him. Kyo buckled slightly under the invading pressure, thankful it didn't hurt at all. It just seemed kind of odd . . .
"Is that . . . your finger?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, his senses trained on Shigure's tight grip that worked him firmly in an effort to keep him hard and distracted from potential pain or discomfort. He felt Shigure's chest against his back. He could feel his nipples and he felt bad suddenly for not having paid as much attention to Shigure as the dog had paid to him. Even though he knew it was enough for the older Souma to be doing what he was doing.
"What else would it be?" Shigure asked with amusement. Kyo wasn't amused, but he found that with the other man's finger inside him it was much better than it had been with his own. He went in farther and deeper than Kyo had dared, buried to the last knuckle and moving inside him in careful hooking motions. His fists knotted the sheets.
"It's . . . actually better . . . than when I tried it," he mumbled, head bowing as he started to give in to the strange pleasure of invasion. Shigure made a small sound of surprise.
"You mean you've tried this before?"
"Un . . . just . . . once. It didn't really do anything for me – ah!" He jerked, head lifting sharply when Shigure finally found his prostate. God, that was a nice sensation! He was suddenly aware of the head of Shigure's cock poking his sac from behind, and he keened softly in his throat, trying to move his body so that his balls rubbed against it. Shigure . . . he just wanted all of him.
Shigure was having distracting thoughts of Kyo fingering himself as he spread lube on a second finger and added it to the first, spreading and kneading his tight heat. "Mm... you're going to have to show me some time."
Kyo was too delirious to even know what Shigure was talking about. He'd found the perfect way to do his fingers, the perfect arch and motion and amount of pressure to use, each new movement making Kyo tremble and writhe. If he could remember this angle . . .
"Promise to let me know if I hurt you," he whispered harshly, dying to get on with it. Kyo's only response was to pant breathlessly and wriggle against him. "Tell me to stop when it gets too much."
Kyo finally managed a weak nod. Shigure removed his fingers and went to spread the lube on his own cock, wanting to fuck Kyo senseless until a little inner voice of rationale reminded him for the eightieth time to be careful and be sensible and don't fuck this up no matter what. Grabbing Kyo's sex again with a warm, lube covered hand, he pumped him fiercely as he steadied his erection at Kyo's rear and slowly pushed in. Kyo gasped sharply, tensing up, but he took Shigure all the way without complaint until he was still, nestled safely inside the younger Souma's taut body.
Kyo focused his gaze on one of the candle flames and stared at it until it blurred and his eyes crossed. It didn't really hurt. It was just extremely uncomfortable at first, uncomfortable because it was so foreign – something that large inside him, connected to someone else's body. But he reminded himself that it was Shigure – Shigure was inside him – and that made it so much better. Shigure held on to him from behind, holding him up with his embrace, his hand not moving as it gripped Kyo's cock. He could feel the man's breath on his neck, his forehead against the back of his hair, his chest and stomach pressed neatly into the curve of his spine, and where they were connected – the scratch of his pubic hair and the touch of his balls. Kyo shuddered, looking down to where Shigure touched him, one arm around his waist and beyond that his cock in his hand – slick with lubricant and precum. As he looked, Shigure moved his hand down just a little, forcing a small bead to form in the slit. Kyo leaned his head back against Shigure's shoulder and waited.
Shigure was being inundated with memories of previous liaisons and reminding himself why this was different. Kyo was the hottest thing he'd ever been in, the rest of his body frightfully cool compared to how he felt on the inside. And again he felt himself rather overwhelmed that the shy, temperamental Kyo would let him be the one to have all these honors. Here he was trying to make it special for Kyo, when he was the one who felt special.
When Kyo leaned his head back against his shoulder, Shigure withdrew slightly and pushed in again, squeezing the boy's erection in his hand. Kyo grunted, but was otherwise quiet. He didn't complain when his lover gradually picked up speed, his thrusts slow and steady, growing longer and harder. After a while he lifted one hand to Shigure's face, pulling him down for a placating kiss. He wished he could see Shigure's face, could kiss him with his tongue while he moved inside, could look into his eyes when they were like this. He imagined Shigure's eyes to be overwhelming in the middle of sex and it disappointed him just a little that he couldn't see. When the older Souma broke away, he laid kisses on the younger's damp skin, across his shoulders and the back of his neck, jerking him off harder once he realized the boy was watching him do so.
The motions of being filled grew to a routine pace, a pace that left Kyo aching and empty every time Shigure withdrew before filling him up again. And when he lowered his head to watch as Shigure jerked him off, one particular thrust nearly did what the dog's finger's had done. Kyo bent over slightly, muttering, "Harder . . ."
Shigure hesitated, but didn't lose his beat. On his next thrust he pumped harder, as Kyo had requested, but still missed it. He increased force each time Kyo requested it, until the boy finally cried out with abandon, body tightening and pitching forward till he was on his hands and knees. Shigure bent with him, pounding into him as hard as he wanted, pushing himself closer and closer. Kyo was suddenly a mass of writhing sexual energy, moaning and whimpering and trying to thrust into his hand while at the same time thrusting back to meet him halfway. He tried clenching his muscles, which put him at a bit of discomfort but made Shigure groan and jerk him off harder.
Kyo threw his head back, riding Shigure as much now as Shigure rode him. And it felt so good to lose control, and so good to be able to lose control and not hurt someone else or damage something. And it felt good to hear Shigure calling his name, and to feel him riding him, the smooth slide of his cock in and out and in again, pounding against that place that brought tears to his eyes and his orgasm dangerously close. So close . . . so close . . .
"Shigure . . . Shigure, please! I . . . I . . . God! Please, Shigure...!"
He didn't even need to finish his sentence. He didn't even need to beg for it. Just hearing him cry his name like that made Shigure push twice as hard, slamming into him in quick, short thrusts, over and over until Kyo convulsed, sobbed, and came in a wet hot stream. It brought Shigure a sort of relief to feel him come, letting go of Kyo's spent cock to take hold of his hips and pump into him until he too was on the verge, but all he could say was Kyo's name, over and over in desperate little whispers.
"Kyo . . . Kyo . . . Kyo . . . Oh, Kyo."
And when he came Kyo felt it rattle through him, his shudders and his last thrusts of release, gradual and indulgent. He mused on it dazedly, the way Shigure said his name like that, as if he'd really done something. But then he thought, I have. And he almost smiled.
They both collapsed into a spooning position on the bed, avoiding Kyo's mess as best they could. Shigure clung to him desperately from behind, life-hungry kisses falling across his shoulders and arm and neck and hair. After a moment he was rolled over onto his back, Shigure crawling on top of him, to hold him and plant those hungry kisses on his face and lips. Kyo was too tired to reciprocate, wondering why he was being so needy all of a sudden. It wasn't really like him.
"Kyo . . ."
Kyo tried to make some sort of noise as response, but couldn't. He was just so tired. So tired and relieved to have crossed this threshold. Something told him it was more than a sexual threshold, but he was too exhausted to consider it more. And Shigure was saying something... how long had he been speaking anyway? Suddenly he felt as though years had gone by.
"Kyo . . . say something."
Shigure sounded so afraid for some reason. Kyo opened his eyes and managed to almost glare. "What do you want me to say? I'm fucking tired!"
Shigure gave him those puppy dog eyes that were actually starting to work on him. "How do you feel? Did you like it? Did I hurt you?"
Kyo grumbled in response, letting his eyes slide shut again. "I liked it. I don't think you hurt me. Nothing feels broken."
He tried to lift his right leg to illustrate his point, but he could barely move his foot. Shigure just kept staring at him with those big eyes meant to make him swoon.
"And I feel dead tired, so leave me alone!" He was whining now. Great, it had rubbed off on him!
Shigure smiled sweetly and kissed his nose. It seemed to be one of his favorite ways to show affection. "Alright then. You'll stay here tonight?"
At those words Kyo started. "Stay here? What if Tohru or that damn Yuki catches us?"
"Silly kitty, no one's going to come into my room unannounced! Anyway, the door's locked. And since you're usually the first to wake up, I'm sure no one will think twice about your being missing from your room."
Kyo didn't answer for a minute, considering. It made him extremely nervous. The last thing he wanted was to be caught. He couldn't imagine what Tohru would think or say, let alone that damn Yuki. And if he ever found out Kyo would be forced to kill him for whatever snide thing he'd have to say, and then this whole thing he had with Shigure would be ruined. And that's why being caught was the last thing he wanted.
"Kyo . . . you'd never let me stay and cuddle," Shigure was complaining now, nuzzling his throat affectionately. It was kind of annoying, but it felt nice. Nothing Shigure did ever felt bad. "I want to sleep with my pretty kitty!"
Kyo growled in frustration and rolled back over. "Fine! But clean the damn sheets!"
Shigure grinned like the big kid he was and set about making things tidy, Kyo included. It was then that he first noticed the dropped honorific from his name. As the dog was wiping him off with the already soiled sheet, he asked him about it.
"Well . . . I don't think I need to call you 'Kyo-kun' if we're in a relationship."
Kyo's eyes widened. A relationship? So that's what it was.
"Unless . . . that's not how you see it . . ."
Kyo shook his head again and rolled over onto his left side, snuggling up to his pillow. "Lie down, shut up, and go to sleep."
Shigure did as he was told. He could be very obedient sometimes. When he wanted to be. He put his arms around Kyo, drawing him close, and Kyo didn't complain because close was what he'd wanted from the beginning. And he had it now, and it was good. But one thing started to nag at him as he was on the very edge of sleep.
"Na... Shigure?"
"Mm?"
Kyo was hesitant to speak, flexing his fingers experimentally against Shigure's hand. The older Souma's hand rested over the back of Kyo's in a limp semblance of holding his hand.
"Next time . . . can we do it so I can see you?"
Shigure was fit to burst. Next time . . . oh the things I will show you next time! "Whatever you want, Kyo-chan." He slipped his fingers between Kyo's, and Kyo shyly tightened his grip, bringing their hands closer to his face, so that Shigure could feel his breath as he drifted to sleep.
When Shigure awoke the next morning he was alone. He sat up, wiped the sleep from his eyes, and checked the time. It was past Kyo's normal waking hour, and considering that there was a very deep impression in his futon and a couple of stray orange hairs on his pillow, he knew his lover had slept the night with him. He smiled, reassured and pleased with how things had went.
Dressing in the same robe he'd worn the day before, he freshened up slightly before going downstairs, where Kyo was standing at the refrigerator drinking straight from the milk carton. It was so damn cute! Shigure walked up behind him and gave him a good slap on the back, causing him to choke and spit milk across the kitchen.
"Good morning, Kyo-kun!!" He paused, as if noticing the milk mess for the first time. "Oh my! Kyo-kun's made a mess! Better clean it up before Tohru-kun wakes up!"
Wiping the milk from his chin, Kyo glared death at the giggling man before grabbing him by the front of his kimono and kissing him hard enough to make him wheeze afterward. They stared at each other a moment, as if sorting out a silent truce.
"You clean it up, dumbass! You made it!"
And with that Kyo slammed the milk carton down on the counter and stalked out of the room. Shigure stared after him, appearing shocked, then smiled quietly to himself. He cleaned up Kyo's mess – once again – then proceeded to lock himself in his study. Taking out his colored pencils and the unfinished drawing of Kyo asleep, he proceeded to fill in the missing piece. Using an old photo of himself, he added his own face on the pillow behind Kyo's head, his bare arm wrapped around him, their fingers intertwined.