Time Cast a Spell
"Hatori, what's wrong?"
Is it really true, Hatori? Did you really never love me? Was it all a lie?
"Hatori . . ."
Your hair in my fingers . . . so soft. Just like silk. Softer than my silk robe, even. As if it comes straight from the cocoon, ready to incubate the kisses and caresses meant for your heart. You're so beautiful, Hatori. Have I told you that you are beautiful? Even when you're bleeding . . . so very beautiful. But you're in pain, aren't you? Who caused you this pain? Tell me, Hatori, and I will punish them . . .
"It's your fault! If Hatori's eyes go blind . . .!"
It was her, wasn't it? She's caused all of this. She's brought this all down on you and on her. She deserves this, Hatori. She never deserved you. This is what she has always deserved. I couldn't tell you. I thought you knew when I would say those words. Need and love go hand in hand – what is love if there is not need? Does she need you like I need you? Can she survive without you? Or is it the other way around?
"Akito!"
Oh . . . it's our knight in shining armor, just like in those silly western fairytales he would read me, propped up on pillows completely naked with the storybook open against his thighs. I would lie on my side and stare at the pictures and the western words I could barely understand as he translated them with a knavish grin. The clever one who knows just what to do to make things right. Distract me from you, distract you from me. But who is he here to save? I could never tell if it was me . . .
"Hatori!"
. . . or you.
"Can you get rid of the curse on the Souma Family?! Can you?!"
Listen to my words, both of you. She is useless. I will prove this to you while I can. See how she sits there doing nothing? Trying to block out my words because she knows they're true, petrified with fear because she finally understands the hell that is our family. She cannot save you. She cannot save any of us. She's a blemish here, and when she is gone you will soon forget.
"Kana-san! Hurry, get Hatori!"
She cannot save you. She cannot save any of us. Don't you dare crawl to her when I am the one who needs you. When I am the one who would die without you. She is the one . . . the one who . . .
"Let me go! I said let me go!"
. . . the one who cannot have you, and who never will. Turn back to me, Hatori. Koibito . . .
"You can't even get rid of the curse, you're useless!"
Listen to me. Listen to me.
"You're useless!"
Shigure . . . you're the only thing holding me together. If you weren't here I would fly apart. Would you love me still if I were a million pieces like stars, caught in the shadows to glitter red with blood? To drip down the walls and stain the scenery of my shoji doors? Do you love me now? Does it matter . . . when he is turning to her . . .
"You're useless!"
. . . I would turn to you . . . if only I knew how.
"It's your fault... it's your fault!"
Her fault. She took Hatori away. She drew him away from me. He told me . . . he held me . . . he takes care of me. Hatori . . .
"It's your fault... it's your fault!"
Her fault. Hatori went away and Shigure came. Came into my life like an electrical storm, short-circuiting everything – my heart and my spirit, so that now I'm not even sure where my heart wants to go. Pressing against my breastbone, desperate to bring Hatori back; hammering against my spine, dying to keep Shigure near. I need you both, don't you understand? I need you both! I need our family! I need to keep us together. Nothing must tear us apart! Nothing! Especially some woman, whose only attribute is the slit between her legs, a place where we are forbidden to go! A black, sinful, forbidden place . . .!
"IT'S YOUR FAULT!"
For enticing him away. Sadly, it's Hatori's fault as well, for showing such weakness. For being tempted by the temptress. The only way he shall learn is to be punished for his mistake. Prove yourself as what you are – that you do not need him. The more you think you need him the weaker you shall become. Love is a weakness. I understand that. Here, in this darkness, where I am alone and quiet, I feel my weakness burning like an orange coal. May your weakness inflame you as it inflames me. May the winds of time fan the fires into Hatori's heart, where he will learn what it means to offend the head of this family. May this moment char his heart pitch-black, shrivel it until it's no more than a plum-sized cinder in his icy breast and no woman would ever dare pine for it again. May both our cries haunt his nights, as they will forever haunt mine.
Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I'll follow you down
Till the sound of my voice will haunt you
You'll never get away
From the sound of the woman that loved you
-"Silver Springs," Fleetwood Mac